Saviours of Lockdown: Almond-Stuffed Olives from Sous Chef

2020 was a swimming pool full of cack for many people. Here’s a new series of posts in which I honour the things that helped make that pool swimmable.

My god, you’re so demanding. Hitting up oldparn.com, spamming ‘refresh’ in the hope that the bloody Wine Bitch article that’s been the most recent post since October might have been bumped down by some new #content.

Well, today’s your goddamn lucky day. But (since you asked) things have been a tad busy here at Castle Parn, as I slalom wildly between clearing up metaphorical shit between the hours of 10am and 6pm and literal shit for the rest of the time.

It’s worth it, though.

As a result of my recent accession to the ranks of parenthood, my internet browser no longer autocompletes my own website address when I start typing it into the URL bar. That’s how long I haven’t been here.

Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about the things (beyond, y’know, family, friends and the genesis of new life) that have helped make the past year bearable. And top amongst those things is obviously olives.

When I was a young fool, I didn’t like olives. Now I do. As narrative arcs go, I realise this one could use some development, but, honestly, I’m too busy eating olives to care.

I ordered a jar of these almond-stuffed manzanilla olives from Sous Chef a month or two back and they are absolutely bloody delicious. Seven quid might seem expensive for a jar of olives, but buying olives is no time to pinch pennies, since the gulf between an average olive and a great olive is goddamn vast. This is a decent sized jar, too, so it’ll last a good few evenings unless you lack self restraint to an even greater degree than Amy and myself.

They’re meaty and salty and if, like me, you’re a sucker for the textural experience that is a crunchy centre surrounded by squidge, you’ll love them. That squidge/crunch combo — the same thing that makes a crisp sandwich so damn good — is peerless because both almond and olive are of the absolutely perfect level of firmness.

That’s it, really. Try ’em, why don’t you? They go fabulously (of course) with a Martini, or some cold dry sherry.